early this year.

middle of this year.

now.

Starve! Starve! Starve! I need to starve! =.=  I don't care what mummy said to me because she doesn't understand my feelings and I know she doesn't want me to get sick but I can't help it. She just don't understand the reason I don't want to eat. People judge you based on how you look so if you don't look good, BOOM! They'll talk a lot of nasty things and you'll end up hurting. Fuck this feeling. I just wanna look good although I'll end up sick. I just want people to accept me the way I am. Is that so hard to ask for? p/s I know you love me mummy and don't want me to get hurt but if I don't do this, I'll end up hurting more so just let me have my way this time because you don't know what it feels like when people say you are not pretty and etc. It hurts like hell mummy. I wish you could just understand me for this once. I don't care if my sickness gets worse. I seriously just don't care anymore because I would die just to look good. Remember the day I cried like someone died back then? And you asked me why and I remain silent? Here's the answer: I was replaced by someone just because of their LOOKS. My heart broke into pieces mummy and nobody knows that. Nobody knows how much hatred I have towards myself. They killed my confidence and I often cry myself to sleep thinking nobodys gonna love me because of my appearance. It hurts okaay. So just please give in to me this time. :(