Emotions. Insecurities. Sickness. /
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Emotions, insecurities and sickness. Welcome to my world! I'm been so stress thinking about myself and future way too much. I may look calm but there's raging thoughts in my mind. It seems like there's no escape and there's just too much to handle. I know I'll never be good enough but was it right to make me feel like I'm a total failure? Seriously? Why? Instead of pushing me around, you should be giving me moral support. I'm afraid that I might end up picking up the razor and start cutting again. I've been clean from cuts for 1 week and 3 days and now looks like I'm going back to zero again.Emotions? Emotions are just so dumb to me. Why do we have to have emotions? We get hurt then we cry ourselves out. For what? Why do we have to feel. And just because of emotions, I've to always feel like shit.
Insecurities? I constantly let my insecurities get in the way of everything. I compare everything about myself to people. Why can't I just be happy with who I am? Why? Because I realize that I worth nothing in their eyes. The people that once mean the world to me. The people that left me like I somehow never existed in their life. And guess what? It hurts! It fucking hurts. I still remember every word that their mouth utter. The words that crashed my heart and world.
Sickness? I've been sick since last Saturday. The pain was just too real. I've been wishing that I was dead. I don't want to bother people about my sickness. I don't want to trouble anybody. I feel that the world is better off without me and also now they are asking me to take some traditional indian medicine. Oh please! I'm so done taking medicine. Just let me die.
How can I now be stressed out when test is just around the corner and I feel like shit. I'm sick and automatically I don't have the mood to face my books. I've been reading yet nothing goes into my head. I only can pray to God may he have mercy towards me.