If I have people convinced that I'm not "at that point", I'm getting pretty damn good at covering things up and pretending that I'm okay. /
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Ever feel
like your world has been ripped from you? Like you want nothing more
than to curl up and die? If not, you are very lucky. It is the worst
feeling ever. When the numbness takes over, and you can’t see. Blinded
by tears, fears, and the darkness from within. You want to die. You try
to kill yourself with unsuccessful results. You have gone for so long
with a smile on your face to hide your pain, but every night you broke
down. You thought you found that one person, the one who made everything
better; and at times, a lot worse. The one you would give anything to
make happy, to be with. The one you would die for because, to you, their
life was worth more. You thought you had people who were your friends,
but when you needed them the most, they were nowhere in site. You put
trust in people too easily, that’s why you get hurt so much. You think
too high of the people who you care about most. You feel worthless, like
shit. Like you can’t do anything right. So you turn to those pills,
that knife, that rope, the ledge; you want to end it. So why haven’t
you? Wouldn't it be better if I was gone? Really I don’t think it would affect many. Maybe initially but I’d be forgotten soon enough. Oh and I just got myself a new blade in case I really need to cut. The old one is not sharp enough anymore so I bought a new one. 