Call it a curse! Or just call me blessed. If you can't handle my words, you ain't getting my best. /
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Hey guys! :) My friend said I should move to America because I'm so obsessed with western stuff. Haha. She said I think like western people plus I love western boys therefore I should move there. Omg yes! If only I have the money to move out from here. :'( Life there would be fun and awesome. I envy my other cousins because they live over there while I'm stuck here in a place where I just hate it. SPM is just around the corner and I'm seriously freaking out. Why should I go through all this bullshit? Why? But then if I don't get a good result, how can I be a veterinarian? Boooooo. Life oh life. Sometimes I feel awful because I hate myself where else I'm perfect with my physical appearance. I mean I have two eyes, two legs, two hands, 10 fingers, 1 mouth, two eyes,two ears and 1 nose. While there are disabled people. I seriously need to stop complaining about my weight and start doing something about it. Ms.Frankie was talking about that the other day and I was really stoned about it. She was right. She said people complain about this and that so they forget to thank God for giving them a perfect appearance. I admit that I'm one of the people that complain too much. I complain about my height, weight, face and the list goes on. People can't blame me though. Society is fucked up. Skinny is beautiful and fat is ugly. I mean oh come on. I bet some of you guy's mom are not even skinny. Does that mean they are ugly? Why judge people based on their appearance? Would you like to be judge by that? Do not blame if I hate people. They are just so bloody judgemental creatures. I've been hurt with words. Hurtful words broke my heart into pieces. I will never forget those words. Those words killed the good side of me. So please don't expect me to be nice. I build walls and guard myself. I don't build bridges so you can save your energy. Pushing people away is my specialty. I do not need people to be happy. I'll be okay as long as God is with me. I had a breakdown last night. I cried and even cut myself. People sucks man. I need to move out from this town and live somewhere far far away but I don't have the heart to stay away from my mom and sisters. I know I'll break my mom's heart if I tell her the truth. The truth that I hate this place and how much hatred I have for myself. But she is my mom so I know she will understand me. Maybe not now but someday she will. I hope karma slaps you people hard for making me feel like a piece of shit. You guys know who you are so I guess I don't need to type out your names. The doctor said I can't be stress but look at me. Everyday stressing out over stupid stuff. Life will never be fair.