I’m suppose to be strong and independent. I’m suppose to be the happy Christian girl who loves her life and loves everyone in it, even if they don’t love her back. I’m suppose to smile all the time and say “Golly” instead of “Fuck”. I’m suppose to laugh and recognize the sound. I’m suppose to want to spend time with people because they make me happy. I’m not suppose to sit around wondering why I’m not dead yet. I’m not suppose to be so depressed and yet so unable to ask for help because I’m not sure I want it. How messed up can one person be?


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