Sometimes I wonder if it even matters. These words, this breathe, this life I lead. I suppose if it did I wouldn’t care so much. I wouldn’t hurt the way I do. I wouldn’t feel so angry. So Empty. This is nothing but a trial, a phase to lead me where I need to be. That place beyond the unknown, that place we all think about.  That life we all wish to lead.  Alas there is no fulfillment in what ifs, only sadness and regret.  If I loved enough, laughed enough, spread my thoughts enough, than perhaps I wouldn’t feel so forgotten. Perhaps then I could be whole. I guess I just do that to the people I care about. If I feel that they don’t care about me, then I’ll just shut them out of my life for good. I really wish it weren’t that way, but I feel like it’s the better for them that way.


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