Screw me. /
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Had a major break down last night. Screw me for having feelings. I was upset because he did not call nor text saying he is coming back late. It's like he is pushing me away and I''m afraid of losing him. He came back around 12 am and I tried not to be upset but it is really hard for me to act like nothing is wrong. So what did I do? I sat quietly. Not answering any of his questions. I don't feel like talking. The moment he went out of my room, that is also the moment my eyes start to swollen and tears are streaming down my face like crazy. I'm a freaking emotional and sensitive bitch. Uhhh! After 15 minutes, He came in and talked to me. He was soft spoken which made me feel guilty for being a bitch. He kissed and hugged me. Wanting to know what is my problem and why I'm crying. I can't go and tell him that he is the reason. I'm can't afford to break his heart but sooner or later he will know so I might as well just tell him. I told him that its the little things that make me upsets. He told me that he is changing but that doesn't change anything between us. I told him whether he realize it or not, he is slowly pushing me away by doing that. He said he is changing for better. He wants a better future for the both of us. He didn't sleep last night. He accompany me doing my assignment and he even helped me to finish it so I can get some rest. He even whisper to my ear saying that he loves me forever. He went to work so yeah I'm all alone and bored. Joy is also at work. Sayang is only gonna be back by tomorrow evening. I guess I just need to chill and sleep.