Hello Mr. February /
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Hey hey readers. (: So, what’s up guys? Hope you guys are doing good. Anyway, I’ve got lots of stories to tell. This year really freaks the shit out of me. The pressure that they keep putting on specially my granny. Grrrrrr! I don’t mind killing myself than having to feel this kind of feeling. The feeling where you can’t be yourself, you have to act like her words doesn’t hurt you and you have to reach her expectations. Gaaaaaah! Why me? Why I have to be the victim? Is it because I’m the first granchild? Is that so? If yes, I never asked to be born as the first grandchild. So, my granny said that I’ve changed since I came back from KL. Guess what granny? I’ve stopped acting the way you want me to be. Oh yes I’ve been avoiding you and don’t ask me why. It is your fault. You said this and that to mummy where else you can’t say it straight to my face and now you are asking mummy why I’ve changed? ASK YOURSELF. Do not make me hate you. Enough is enough! I won’t stick around and act like it doesn’t hurt. I will never forget the way you treated mummy and us last time. Past is past but you keep making my life in a mess by dragging me into your problems. I keep on forgiving you and what do I get in the end? Heartaches and tears? I’m done! I would move far away from here if only I could because I’m afraid that my tongue would slip out some hurtful words towards you which I don’t want that to happen.
So yesterday, Cikgu Rohana was explaining the meaning of a pantun and she said “ kalau orang dah tak nak kamu, tak payah lah kamu nak sedih-sedih kerana yang bakal datang tu sudah semestinya lebih baik daripada sebelumnya. Tak payah nak frust untuk orang yang tak tahu menghargai” Damn right! J Bravo miss Rohana. Dear mr. S, stop cracking stupid hurtful jokes because I seriously don’t mind slapping you hard on your handsome jackass face in front of your friends. I take back my words saying you have changed from ‘Playboy’ to ‘Alim Boy” because you are seriously full of bullshit! Talking shit about your ex? Hello you dumbass! She was once you GF so what’s the need in talking shit and as far as I can remember, you were head over heels for her during form 3 and now you talk shit about her? Excuse me, but I won’t tolerate with this kind of attitude. She is my friend therefore you will have to deal with me too. Past is past kunun! Yeah right! So why do you keep talking shit behind her? I guess you just can’t accept the fact that she chose your friend over you. Besides that, you cheated over her so I guess this is fair enough. You don’t look cool by talking shit! You look like a total jerk. Oh and not to say you look like one but definitely a jerk! And you girl, you might as well shut the hell up. ‘Kawan makan kawan!’ Eh sial laa! I will never forget what you did during form 3. Stupid faker. Keep faking and I will make sure karma slaps the both of you. Sebar gosip saja kerja. Both of you are just the same. Sukar putar belit fakta. Depan punya main baik, salam laa and siap senyum tapi di belakang, macam-macam laa kamu pergi putar belit fakta. Setiap orang mempunyai tahap kesabaran yang terhad so jangan sampai saya hilang sabar aa. Saya memang baik and selalu maafkan orang tapi itu tidak memberi kamu hak untuk selalu mengulangi kesalahan. Grow up laa. Dua-dua sudah 18 but still act like 12-13. Sesuai sangatlaa kamu jadi couple. P/S You’ve always seen the good side of me and trust me you would not want to see the bad side of me.
Schedule oh schedule. Why do you have to be so packed? I need to manage my timetable again and again and maybe there would be changes on our ‘jadual waktu’. =.= I don’t want new maths teacher. I’m coping good with maths and chemistry. I’m loving maths. Haha. Tuisyen? Later or maybe I won’t since I’m coping really good with maths and chemistry. Anyway, we’ll just see. (: English and Bm oral is stressing me out and now I have to write an essay around 1750 words and I need to hand in the essay by the end of April. Oh God, please help me. Btw, mummy said something to me last night, : “I’m proud of you, I can see that you are taking your studies seriously and that is good. You need to always forgive Ma (granny) and trust in the Lord. Never ever hold a grunge towards those who hurt you. Forgive yourself and forgive them. Trust me you will find your happiness Jane.” I seriously hate it how I can easily forgive people when they just don’t deserve it. =.= I hate how I can’t stay mad at them for a long time. I forgive and forgive and forgive. :( Anyway, bye-bye January. HELLO FEBRUARY. J
